--- kindle-sync: bookId: '1797' title: 'Focus on What Matters: A Collection of Stoic Letters on Living Well' author: Darius Foroux asin: B0BNP6W7KH lastAnnotatedDate: '2024-10-10' bookImageUrl: 'https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61qhewOgiyL._SY160.jpg' highlightsCount: 216 --- # Focus on What Matters ## Metadata * Author: [Darius Foroux](https://www.amazon.comundefined) * ASIN: B0BNP6W7KH * ISBN: 9083301826 * Reference: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BNP6W7KH * [Kindle link](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH) ## Highlights We live in a society that revolves around pleasure, consumption, and escapism. — location: [134](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=134) ^ref-4895 --- hedonic treadmill. — location: [136](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=136) ^ref-9964 --- We all know social media makes us feel unworthy and depressed. — location: [136](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=136) ^ref-9706 --- seeking pleasure turns us into slaves of our desires. — location: [137](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=137) ^ref-43791 --- hedonistic tendencies — location: [141](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=141) ^ref-6260 --- You can tell that Seneca subtly tries to convince his friend to be more stoic, to pursue tranquility, and to focus on what’s inside his control. — location: [142](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=142) ^ref-59580 --- The Stoics believed that to live a happy life, you need to go against the herd. — location: [144](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=144) ^ref-64592 --- being more proactive instead of reactive. — location: [151](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=151) ^ref-21362 --- mastering your own mind. — location: [152](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=152) ^ref-28460 --- becoming the master of your own destiny. — location: [153](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=153) ^ref-10502 --- With Stoic wisdom, we can guard our minds against the things that disrupt our happiness. — location: [168](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=168) ^ref-13775 --- It’s so important to only focus on what you control. — location: [178](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=178) ^ref-6056 --- What I learned from Stoicism is that time is your most valuable resource. — location: [185](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=185) ^ref-36427 --- Why do we feel the need to respond to every single thing that we run into? — location: [194](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=194) ^ref-60637 --- Without accepting that we don’t control most things in life, we can never have lasting happiness. Getting concerned with things outside of our control is a habit. — location: [196](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=196) ^ref-48632 --- It’s good to practice indifference to things that are outside of your control but do impact your happiness. — location: [200](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=200) ^ref-60332 --- What actually matters to your happiness? Good friendships, work that you enjoy, reading books that make you think, walking in nature, working out, watching a good movie — location: [201](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=201) ^ref-51351 --- Our best bet is to make our own lives better — NOW. — location: [213](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=213) ^ref-11038 --- Know what you can and cannot control! That’s — location: [218](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=218) ^ref-11822 --- And when you meet each other, your friend seems depressed for some reason. You — location: [223](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=223) ^ref-62460 --- It’s the same as saying, “I want to be healthy but I don’t want to work out.” — location: [230](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=230) ^ref-54241 --- They believed in being compassionate, but remaining cautious of another person’s energy. — location: [231](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=231) ^ref-1532 --- They are not upset by what happened to them but by their view of the situation. However, be — location: [235](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=235) ^ref-19892 --- When you’re lost, unfocused, or lacking motivation, grab a book about a topic you’re interested in. — location: [260](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=260) ^ref-49459 --- The Dawn of Everything by David Graeber and David Wengrow, which — location: [264](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=264) ^ref-10596 --- Effort nourishes noble spirits.” — location: [276](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=276) ^ref-6431 --- When you make an effort to acquire knowledge, you nourish your spirit. Learning gives you energy, even if you don’t use every single thing you learn. — location: [277](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=277) ^ref-18960 --- “So what is good? The knowledge of life. What is bad? Ignorance of life.” To — location: [283](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=283) ^ref-20558 --- The truth is that we’re fragile beings. — location: [289](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=289) ^ref-57347 --- As Epictetus once said, “If you want to make progress, stop feeling anxious about things.” — location: [291](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=291) ^ref-47692 --- practice detachment. Start — location: [303](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=303) ^ref-52049 --- We fear that reality is different than our expectations. But reality — location: [307](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=307) ^ref-21283 --- reality doesn’t have to match our expectations for us to feel less anxious. — location: [307](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=307) ^ref-60090 --- What you lose is what you pay for your peace of mind.” — location: [309](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=309) ^ref-21806 --- anxiety will never fully get out of your system. It’s — location: [313](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=313) ^ref-21720 --- Nothing is worth giving up your peace of mind — location: [317](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=317) ^ref-24266 --- We often try really hard to get what we want and avoid what we don’t want. — location: [319](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=319) ^ref-6486 --- To avoid disappointment, I kept focusing on what I control: — location: [338](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=338) ^ref-21050 --- As Epictetus said, it’s foolish to expect we have the power to make certain things happen. That — location: [345](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=345) ^ref-62730 --- For example, when you remind yourself that your mother or father will not live forever, you’re less likely to go hard on them at the family dinner when you talk about politics. — location: [348](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=348) ^ref-45990 --- “It’s not worth it to get angry. Soon we will not be here anymore.” — location: [349](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=349) ^ref-60500 --- Stoicism challenges us to think about the long-term impact of our actions. If we do things we will later regret, we only create inner turmoil. — location: [351](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=351) ^ref-41272 --- “Cease to hope … and you will cease to fear.” — location: [355](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=355) ^ref-41733 --- Let’s face it, the majority of the things we hope for will not come true. — location: [363](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=363) ^ref-61223 --- Hope and fear are the same things. — location: [366](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=366) ^ref-6691 --- When you experience fear, you hope that something doesn’t happen. In — location: [366](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=366) ^ref-27696 --- When you hope for something, you wish to have the things you want. This — location: [371](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=371) ^ref-26144 --- wonder what my new job will be.” — location: [378](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=378) ^ref-43303 --- imagine that many people spend their entire lives hoping for one thing after the other. — location: [381](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=381) ^ref-848 --- Cortisol slows down your metabolism, which can seriously disrupt your digestive system. — location: [404](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=404) ^ref-23213 --- Every time you get angry, you’re only harming yourself. The things that make you angry are often less hurtful than the effect of anger on your body. — location: [406](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=406) ^ref-13424 --- Instead of beating yourself up and being your own antagonist, be your own comedian. — location: [414](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=414) ^ref-21194 --- become aware of the shortness of life. — location: [415](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=415) ^ref-43242 --- change your attitude, not your surroundings.” — location: [430](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=430) ^ref-14839 --- It doesn’t matter how great your life is, at some point, you adapt your standards. And — location: [435](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=435) ^ref-40776 --- it doesn’t mean you have to exert your control. The — location: [444](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=444) ^ref-10319 --- philosophy and personal growth.” It — location: [463](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=463) ^ref-54621 --- it’s not useful to replay past events in your mind like a broken record. — location: [471](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=471) ^ref-47147 --- The key is to journal around a particular challenge or question. For example, when I wanted — location: [472](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=472) ^ref-56407 --- to improve — location: [473](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=473) ^ref-34569 --- anything that doesn’t have a positive impact on my life is useless. That’s — location: [488](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=488) ^ref-53251 --- Affect Heuristic. — location: [506](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=506) ^ref-31373 --- get rid of information that makes you feel bad, anxious, weak, jealous, or simply has no use. — location: [509](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=509) ^ref-37218 --- We all know that our time and energy are limited. So we need to be selective about how we spend it. — location: [517](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=517) ^ref-50160 --- “Is this worth spending my time on?” — location: [518](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=518) ^ref-2974 --- only consume things that have a positive impact on your life. — location: [520](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=520) ^ref-34887 --- “No random actions, none not based on underlying principles.” — location: [527](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=527) ^ref-44823 --- Focus on what you control Live in agreement with nature — location: [530](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=530) ^ref-44237 --- Living a good life is about not getting distracted. — location: [537](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=537) ^ref-15572 --- The moment we lose our focus and wander aimlessly, we get frustrated. — location: [540](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=540) ^ref-25488 --- We all need these higher goals, projects, and ambitions to live our life a certain way. If you have a reason to do things, you wake up with clarity. — location: [548](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=548) ^ref-32845 --- It’s an endless challenge because our focus fluctuates all the time. — location: [557](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=557) ^ref-19946 --- This is something the former Navy Seal and ultramarathon runner David Goggins talks — location: [571](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=571) ^ref-41108 --- I’ve never met a person who was the best at their job, competed in sports events, and had a highly active social life. — location: [575](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=575) ^ref-1288 --- You can have it all, but not all at the same time. — location: [578](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=578) ^ref-39508 --- I’ve decided that I’m all-in on work, exercise, and family. And — location: [580](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=580) ^ref-4546 --- focused on the things that matter to you. — location: [584](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=584) ^ref-48943 --- “gezond verstand.” The literal translation to English is — location: [588](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=588) ^ref-22234 --- “healthy mind.” — location: [588](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=588) ^ref-16106 --- Worried; constantly — location: [596](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=596) ^ref-49904 --- Inconsistent; feeling — location: [597](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=597) ^ref-11169 --- Unfocused; not — location: [597](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=597) ^ref-32704 --- Insecure; not — location: [598](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=598) ^ref-53842 --- A healthy mind is the opposite of worried — it’s peaceful. It doesn’t care about the things that are either outside its control or are unrealistic. — location: [601](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=601) ^ref-31501 --- hold our composure and don’t lose our cool. — location: [603](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=603) ^ref-45660 --- Because it’s about finding the answers to living a good, and healthy, life. — location: [610](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=610) ^ref-2814 --- And having a healthy mind is one of those things we should always strive for. — location: [611](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=611) ^ref-48315 --- I have begun to be a friend to — location: [614](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=614) ^ref-15214 --- When we’re honest about who we are and the lifestyle we enjoy, we no longer feel the pressure to do certain things. We — location: [644](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=644) ^ref-45528 --- As Epictetus said, think about the consequences: Good and bad. If that’s in line with who you are, then go for it. If it’s not, don’t. — location: [647](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=647) ^ref-12742 --- dread. — location: [654](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=654) ^ref-18224 --- During moments of dread, we need to remind ourselves we have the inner strength to keep going. — location: [655](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=655) ^ref-28295 --- for every challenge you face, you have the resources within you to cope with that challenge. If — location: [658](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=658) ^ref-21949 --- you are inappropriately attracted to someone, you will find you have the resource of self-restraint. When — location: [658](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=658) ^ref-57871 --- The problem is that we sometimes forget we’re actually strong beings. Think — location: [661](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=661) ^ref-9255 --- Too often, we forget about our own accomplishments and strengths. If — location: [668](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=668) ^ref-954 --- It’s all inside you. You just need to dust it off and use it again. — location: [673](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=673) ^ref-63660 --- After all, achieving a worthwhile goal is not easy and requires perseverance. — location: [681](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=681) ^ref-59301 --- They looked at every situation in life as an opportunity to adjust the story we tell about ourselves. For — location: [681](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=681) ^ref-6062 --- They believed that every person has the ability to give their own meaning to situations. — location: [685](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=685) ^ref-50749 --- We’re told that our past influences our present. What — location: [688](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=688) ^ref-35037 --- You can change the meaning you give to what happens. For — location: [691](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=691) ^ref-25007 --- If you often talk negatively to yourself, you probably will only do more of that. — location: [696](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=696) ^ref-22013 --- YOU have the power to change your attitude at any given moment. — location: [699](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=699) ^ref-42070 --- “Think that nothing deserves admiration except the mind, which being itself great counts nothing else as great.” — location: [705](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=705) ^ref-36890 --- The Stoics were indifferent to possessions and externals because they realized anything that can be given, can be removed. So — location: [714](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=714) ^ref-62546 --- Your self-worth depends on the things that can’t be removed from you. Even the — location: [715](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=715) ^ref-24037 --- “Let the man who enters our house admire us rather than our furnishings.” — location: [718](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=718) ^ref-56181 --- brag — location: [720](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=720) ^ref-2973 --- thrift — location: [721](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=721) ^ref-3219 --- jobs we hate so we can buy things we don’t actually need. — location: [725](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=725) ^ref-12836 --- pulled out a joint. — location: [734](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=734) ^ref-14327 --- Be the same person whether you are by yourself or with others.” — location: [740](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=740) ^ref-35836 --- I don’t have the urge to be liked by strangers or acquaintances. If I — location: [745](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=745) ^ref-33791 --- Who do you want to be? What type of person would make you proud of yourself? Be that person, always. — location: [751](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=751) ^ref-17124 --- As Marcus said, the responsibility is all yours. No one can stop you from being a certain way. — location: [752](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=752) ^ref-46119 --- we become the product of what others want. — location: [764](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=764) ^ref-40830 --- plunge. — location: [769](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=769) ^ref-53691 --- It’s difficult to find a balance between being open to people’s advice and being indecisive. — location: [781](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=781) ^ref-836 --- When you want to please everyone in your life, you end up harming your own sense of self-worth. It’s a form of suffering. — location: [783](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=783) ^ref-55312 --- “When you are traveling by ship, you can go to the shore, enjoy the scenery, collect shells, or pick flowers. But when you are called back to the ship, you need to drop everything and hurry back, otherwise the ship may leave without you.” — location: [796](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=796) ^ref-52872 --- We must be able to give up everything when it’s called back. We — location: [803](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=803) ^ref-18576 --- We feel like we have a right to have those relationships or objects. — location: [804](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=804) ^ref-11740 --- in reality, we own nothing, and nothing is owed to us. We’re guests — location: [805](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=805) ^ref-40160 --- I look at everything in life as borrowed from someone I personally know. — location: [806](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=806) ^ref-27918 --- As our friend Epictetus said, be ready when the ship departs. As — location: [816](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=816) ^ref-36605 --- Think creatively and never stop trying to make the best of — location: [818](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=818) ^ref-48294 --- frowned when — location: [822](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=822) ^ref-54287 --- “practice acceptance without disdain.” When you are satisfied with what you — location: [831](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=831) ^ref-18399 --- mold life. We — location: [835](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=835) ^ref-52257 --- But often, the reverse is true. We get what we don’t want, and we can’t avoid undesirable outcomes. — location: [835](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=835) ^ref-44884 --- treat things you don’t want as a gift. — location: [843](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=843) ^ref-51824 --- “I am of the nature to have ill health. I cannot escape having ill health.” — location: [868](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=868) ^ref-7905 --- setbacks — location: [871](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=871) ^ref-595 --- Life is better when the present moment is your playground. — location: [874](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=874) ^ref-49881 --- “You act like mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire… [Do not] lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn.” — location: [877](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=877) ^ref-21707 --- He argued that life is not about how long you live, it’s about how you use the time that you have. As you know, these Stoic Letters are — location: [886](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=886) ^ref-61178 --- a man who has lived a long time has not lived enough.” — location: [889](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=889) ^ref-19651 --- if you’re too focused on the future, you’ll become a person who never has lived enough. That’s what — location: [894](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=894) ^ref-41157 --- When you always feel like your life is not complete, and something in the future will make you whole, you’re never content. — location: [896](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=896) ^ref-23870 --- Dedicate your life to the pursuit of wisdom. You — location: [922](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=922) ^ref-55149 --- It’s about having meaning in your life. — location: [923](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=923) ^ref-45062 --- Immerse yourself in the things that make you curious. — location: [932](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=932) ^ref-41547 --- Nothing in life improves on its own without any form of nurturing. What — location: [954](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=954) ^ref-33782 --- They always preached doing your best, and nothing less. Epictetus — location: [959](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=959) ^ref-54244 --- look at your next step, not at the finish line — — location: [963](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=963) ^ref-7708 --- peel. Similarly, — location: [964](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=964) ^ref-12607 --- our efforts are subject to circumstances; you weren’t aiming to do the impossible.” — location: [965](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=965) ^ref-51182 --- We aim to have it all. And if we don’t get it all, we get down. That’s not a good way to live. — location: [971](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=971) ^ref-62828 --- When you go through life without expecting much from yourself, you can simply do your best, which is enough. — location: [973](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=973) ^ref-58206 --- “You cannot really lose anything because you don’t own anything in the first place. Not — location: [993](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=993) ^ref-7170 --- So never say, ‘I have lost something.’ You just returned it.” — location: [994](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=994) ^ref-30252 --- mourn. — location: [1001](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1001) ^ref-62817 --- We should enjoy the company of our loved ones and — location: [1002](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1002) ^ref-15399 --- Epictetus said we should think of all the things in life as a hotel stay. You — location: [1004](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1004) ^ref-64747 --- So never forget to enjoy your stay. — location: [1005](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1005) ^ref-45340 --- Where are you in life? And what led you to this point? Most of us don’t have a good answer. — location: [1009](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1009) ^ref-9095 --- “How did you get into this work?” is, “I don’t know. I guess it just happened naturally.” — location: [1014](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1014) ^ref-22850 --- So many of us are in that weird space. We don’t enjoy our work, but we don’t know what else we want to pursue. — location: [1027](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1027) ^ref-21226 --- “From reason, you will learn what to attempt and how; you will not do things by accident.” I knew — location: [1029](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1029) ^ref-45810 --- Your life shouldn’t be an accident. While most things in life are unexpected, we must continually ask ourselves, “How did I come to this point?” — location: [1037](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1037) ^ref-56461 --- “Only a short time left,” in — location: [1044](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1044) ^ref-60573 --- We’re waiting until we have the perfect job, house, relationship, degree, and so forth. — location: [1060](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1060) ^ref-52779 --- By not being in a nonstop rush. — location: [1062](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1062) ^ref-40757 --- Avoid living your life like that. — location: [1065](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1065) ^ref-11067 --- Don’t hurry everything you do today so you can just get it over with. What kind of life is that? — location: [1066](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1066) ^ref-26656 --- Enjoy the moment! Because no matter how much time you have left, it’s actually enough. — location: [1067](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1067) ^ref-63459 --- Musonius Rufus, — location: [1075](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1075) ^ref-27914 --- hardship, we need to train ourselves constantly. — location: [1079](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1079) ^ref-9263 --- we need to train ourselves constantly. — location: [1080](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1080) ^ref-65164 --- and we need to make ourselves resilient so we can deal with it better. Here’s — location: [1080](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1080) ^ref-30696 --- “We will train both soul and body when we accustom ourselves to cold, heat, thirst, hunger, scarcity of food, hardness of bed, abstaining from pleasures, and enduring pains.” — location: [1081](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1081) ^ref-25520 --- “Whatever you do, come back quickly from the body to the mind; exercise — location: [1091](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1091) ^ref-56279 --- Only when you exert moderate effort can you maintain your strength, and potentially grow stronger. — location: [1093](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1093) ^ref-64584 --- Keep reading about the philosophy. Keep reminding yourself of the principles. That’s the only way to maintain it. And — location: [1095](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1095) ^ref-64069 --- “I’m going to get strong, and then I’m going to stay strong. I don’t need to be stronger.” — location: [1098](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1098) ^ref-57744 --- That’s something you can avoid by aiming to maintain whatever you have. Like the Stoics, focus on a moderate effort. There’s nothing wrong with that. — location: [1101](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1101) ^ref-36346 --- compounds. — location: [1103](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1103) ^ref-12042 --- accustomed to — location: [1104](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1104) ^ref-50035 --- We’ve been using them not because we needed them but because we had them.” — location: [1111](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1111) ^ref-53756 --- In life, it’s not about what we have, it’s about what we do with the things we do have. — location: [1122](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1122) ^ref-55023 --- it’s not about what we have, it’s about what we do with the things we do have. — location: [1122](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1122) ^ref-19978 --- “I’ll work a few extra years or tighten my belt. I’ll do whatever,” — location: [1129](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1129) ^ref-6581 --- self-confidence — location: [1132](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1132) ^ref-6122 --- Resourcefulness. — location: [1133](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1133) ^ref-4508 --- The ability to find creative and realistic ways to overcome difficulties. Start — location: [1133](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1133) ^ref-1048 --- resourcefulness — location: [1134](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1134) ^ref-29806 --- If you ignore your good habits, you’ll pay for them. Every — location: [1149](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1149) ^ref-54321 --- opportunity to rethink other important things in my — location: [1150](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1150) ^ref-39922 --- You can do a check-in with yourself regularly. Even if you do this once a year, you make sure you’re on the right path. — location: [1152](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1152) ^ref-3411 --- we keep learning as we keep living: “As — location: [1153](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1153) ^ref-35053 --- “As long as you live, keep learning how to live to err is human, but to persist (in the mistake) is diabolical. ”Learning how to live is a deeply personal matter. We have to learn what works for us. And we can only do that by living a conscious life. Isn’t that how philosophy started, with Socrates when he said, “The unexamined life is not worth living”? As long as you live, keep examining yourself. When you make a mistake, don’t get bogged down. Learn from it somehow. — location: [1154](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1154) ^ref-37573 --- Never forget that we’re stronger than we think. We — location: [1178](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1178) ^ref-48256 --- The REAL reward you acquire is not the money or status, it’s the energy, pride, and sense of accomplishment you get from performing the action. — location: [1234](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1234) ^ref-6705 --- Seneca recommended doing something every day that improves you, and giving it all your attention: — location: [1238](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1238) ^ref-4473 --- You’re acquiring skills and strength that will strengthen so you take on the challenges of life. That’s — location: [1244](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1244) ^ref-13659 --- When we experience setbacks or when things do go the way we want, we have a tendency to find someone to blame. — location: [1260](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1260) ^ref-22139 --- It’s time to move on because life is too short to beat yourself up! — location: [1270](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1270) ^ref-64456 --- Your physical and mental health are always more important. So make sure you always do the thing that’s in the best interest of those two things. — location: [1275](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1275) ^ref-20787 --- recognizing things that are truly good and distinguishing them from things that are not.” — location: [1316](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1316) ^ref-21555 --- The beauty of Stoicism is that pleasure, rest, and comfort feel so much better when you do have them. — location: [1320](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1320) ^ref-15418 --- Happiness is not only being able to live well with yourself. That’s the foundation. But we’re — location: [1323](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1323) ^ref-6080 --- You pay a price to play a game. — location: [1337](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1337) ^ref-13767 --- Not complaining about the price we pay is the key to happiness. — location: [1345](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1345) ^ref-36656 --- begrudgingly — location: [1346](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1346) ^ref-12296 --- They promoted staying true to your values. If — location: [1359](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1359) ^ref-21846 --- It’s just not worth it. Your values are priceless. — location: [1362](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1362) ^ref-8839 --- Hurricane Carter — location: [1372](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1372) ^ref-3176 --- To obtain freedom, the biggest prize in life, we should realize that we always have the power to decide how to live. We — location: [1379](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1379) ^ref-40002 --- we can certainly change how we look at them. — location: [1380](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1380) ^ref-3294 --- Focus on what you control and be free. This — location: [1384](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1384) ^ref-37091 --- When you have nothing, everything else in life is a bonus. — location: [1386](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1386) ^ref-2594 --- you enjoy the time you have on this planet, floating in the middle of space, surrounded by nothing. It’s fascinating when you think about it. — location: [1417](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1417) ^ref-21963 --- Simply focus on what you control and think about the actions you need to take every single day of your life. The — location: [1445](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1445) ^ref-1910 --- When you only focus on the process, you know you’re doing it right. It’s — location: [1447](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1447) ^ref-27348 --- Set a goal, turn your back on it, and start working. — location: [1448](kindle://book?action=open&asin=B0BNP6W7KH&location=1448) ^ref-21101 ---