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Focus on What Matters
Metadata
- Author: Darius Foroux
- ASIN: B0BNP6W7KH
- ISBN: 9083301826
- Reference: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BNP6W7KH
- Kindle link
Highlights
We live in a society that revolves around pleasure, consumption, and escapism. — location: 134 ^ref-4895
hedonic treadmill. — location: 136 ^ref-9964
We all know social media makes us feel unworthy and depressed. — location: 136 ^ref-9706
seeking pleasure turns us into slaves of our desires. — location: 137 ^ref-43791
hedonistic tendencies — location: 141 ^ref-6260
You can tell that Seneca subtly tries to convince his friend to be more stoic, to pursue tranquility, and to focus on what’s inside his control. — location: 142 ^ref-59580
The Stoics believed that to live a happy life, you need to go against the herd. — location: 144 ^ref-64592
being more proactive instead of reactive. — location: 151 ^ref-21362
mastering your own mind. — location: 152 ^ref-28460
becoming the master of your own destiny. — location: 153 ^ref-10502
With Stoic wisdom, we can guard our minds against the things that disrupt our happiness. — location: 168 ^ref-13775
It’s so important to only focus on what you control. — location: 178 ^ref-6056
What I learned from Stoicism is that time is your most valuable resource. — location: 185 ^ref-36427
Why do we feel the need to respond to every single thing that we run into? — location: 194 ^ref-60637
Without accepting that we don’t control most things in life, we can never have lasting happiness. Getting concerned with things outside of our control is a habit. — location: 196 ^ref-48632
It’s good to practice indifference to things that are outside of your control but do impact your happiness. — location: 200 ^ref-60332
What actually matters to your happiness? Good friendships, work that you enjoy, reading books that make you think, walking in nature, working out, watching a good movie — location: 201 ^ref-51351
Our best bet is to make our own lives better — NOW. — location: 213 ^ref-11038
Know what you can and cannot control! That’s — location: 218 ^ref-11822
And when you meet each other, your friend seems depressed for some reason. You — location: 223 ^ref-62460
It’s the same as saying, “I want to be healthy but I don’t want to work out.” — location: 230 ^ref-54241
They believed in being compassionate, but remaining cautious of another person’s energy. — location: 231 ^ref-1532
They are not upset by what happened to them but by their view of the situation. However, be — location: 235 ^ref-19892
When you’re lost, unfocused, or lacking motivation, grab a book about a topic you’re interested in. — location: 260 ^ref-49459
The Dawn of Everything by David Graeber and David Wengrow, which — location: 264 ^ref-10596
Effort nourishes noble spirits.” — location: 276 ^ref-6431
When you make an effort to acquire knowledge, you nourish your spirit. Learning gives you energy, even if you don’t use every single thing you learn. — location: 277 ^ref-18960
“So what is good? The knowledge of life. What is bad? Ignorance of life.” To — location: 283 ^ref-20558
The truth is that we’re fragile beings. — location: 289 ^ref-57347
As Epictetus once said, “If you want to make progress, stop feeling anxious about things.” — location: 291 ^ref-47692
practice detachment. Start — location: 303 ^ref-52049
We fear that reality is different than our expectations. But reality — location: 307 ^ref-21283
reality doesn’t have to match our expectations for us to feel less anxious. — location: 307 ^ref-60090
What you lose is what you pay for your peace of mind.” — location: 309 ^ref-21806
anxiety will never fully get out of your system. It’s — location: 313 ^ref-21720
Nothing is worth giving up your peace of mind — location: 317 ^ref-24266
We often try really hard to get what we want and avoid what we don’t want. — location: 319 ^ref-6486
To avoid disappointment, I kept focusing on what I control: — location: 338 ^ref-21050
As Epictetus said, it’s foolish to expect we have the power to make certain things happen. That — location: 345 ^ref-62730
For example, when you remind yourself that your mother or father will not live forever, you’re less likely to go hard on them at the family dinner when you talk about politics. — location: 348 ^ref-45990
“It’s not worth it to get angry. Soon we will not be here anymore.” — location: 349 ^ref-60500
Stoicism challenges us to think about the long-term impact of our actions. If we do things we will later regret, we only create inner turmoil. — location: 351 ^ref-41272
“Cease to hope … and you will cease to fear.” — location: 355 ^ref-41733
Let’s face it, the majority of the things we hope for will not come true. — location: 363 ^ref-61223
Hope and fear are the same things. — location: 366 ^ref-6691
When you experience fear, you hope that something doesn’t happen. In — location: 366 ^ref-27696
When you hope for something, you wish to have the things you want. This — location: 371 ^ref-26144
wonder what my new job will be.” — location: 378 ^ref-43303
imagine that many people spend their entire lives hoping for one thing after the other. — location: 381 ^ref-848
Cortisol slows down your metabolism, which can seriously disrupt your digestive system. — location: 404 ^ref-23213
Every time you get angry, you’re only harming yourself. The things that make you angry are often less hurtful than the effect of anger on your body. — location: 406 ^ref-13424
Instead of beating yourself up and being your own antagonist, be your own comedian. — location: 414 ^ref-21194
become aware of the shortness of life. — location: 415 ^ref-43242
change your attitude, not your surroundings.” — location: 430 ^ref-14839
It doesn’t matter how great your life is, at some point, you adapt your standards. And — location: 435 ^ref-40776
it doesn’t mean you have to exert your control. The — location: 444 ^ref-10319
philosophy and personal growth.” It — location: 463 ^ref-54621
it’s not useful to replay past events in your mind like a broken record. — location: 471 ^ref-47147
The key is to journal around a particular challenge or question. For example, when I wanted — location: 472 ^ref-56407
to improve — location: 473 ^ref-34569
anything that doesn’t have a positive impact on my life is useless. That’s — location: 488 ^ref-53251
Affect Heuristic. — location: 506 ^ref-31373
get rid of information that makes you feel bad, anxious, weak, jealous, or simply has no use. — location: 509 ^ref-37218
We all know that our time and energy are limited. So we need to be selective about how we spend it. — location: 517 ^ref-50160
“Is this worth spending my time on?” — location: 518 ^ref-2974
only consume things that have a positive impact on your life. — location: 520 ^ref-34887
“No random actions, none not based on underlying principles.” — location: 527 ^ref-44823
Focus on what you control Live in agreement with nature — location: 530 ^ref-44237
Living a good life is about not getting distracted. — location: 537 ^ref-15572
The moment we lose our focus and wander aimlessly, we get frustrated. — location: 540 ^ref-25488
We all need these higher goals, projects, and ambitions to live our life a certain way. If you have a reason to do things, you wake up with clarity. — location: 548 ^ref-32845
It’s an endless challenge because our focus fluctuates all the time. — location: 557 ^ref-19946
This is something the former Navy Seal and ultramarathon runner David Goggins talks — location: 571 ^ref-41108
I’ve never met a person who was the best at their job, competed in sports events, and had a highly active social life. — location: 575 ^ref-1288
You can have it all, but not all at the same time. — location: 578 ^ref-39508
I’ve decided that I’m all-in on work, exercise, and family. And — location: 580 ^ref-4546
focused on the things that matter to you. — location: 584 ^ref-48943
“gezond verstand.” The literal translation to English is — location: 588 ^ref-22234
“healthy mind.” — location: 588 ^ref-16106
Worried; constantly — location: 596 ^ref-49904
Inconsistent; feeling — location: 597 ^ref-11169
Unfocused; not — location: 597 ^ref-32704
Insecure; not — location: 598 ^ref-53842
A healthy mind is the opposite of worried — it’s peaceful. It doesn’t care about the things that are either outside its control or are unrealistic. — location: 601 ^ref-31501
hold our composure and don’t lose our cool. — location: 603 ^ref-45660
Because it’s about finding the answers to living a good, and healthy, life. — location: 610 ^ref-2814
And having a healthy mind is one of those things we should always strive for. — location: 611 ^ref-48315
I have begun to be a friend to — location: 614 ^ref-15214
When we’re honest about who we are and the lifestyle we enjoy, we no longer feel the pressure to do certain things. We — location: 644 ^ref-45528
As Epictetus said, think about the consequences: Good and bad. If that’s in line with who you are, then go for it. If it’s not, don’t. — location: 647 ^ref-12742
dread. — location: 654 ^ref-18224
During moments of dread, we need to remind ourselves we have the inner strength to keep going. — location: 655 ^ref-28295
for every challenge you face, you have the resources within you to cope with that challenge. If — location: 658 ^ref-21949
you are inappropriately attracted to someone, you will find you have the resource of self-restraint. When — location: 658 ^ref-57871
The problem is that we sometimes forget we’re actually strong beings. Think — location: 661 ^ref-9255
Too often, we forget about our own accomplishments and strengths. If — location: 668 ^ref-954
It’s all inside you. You just need to dust it off and use it again. — location: 673 ^ref-63660
After all, achieving a worthwhile goal is not easy and requires perseverance. — location: 681 ^ref-59301
They looked at every situation in life as an opportunity to adjust the story we tell about ourselves. For — location: 681 ^ref-6062
They believed that every person has the ability to give their own meaning to situations. — location: 685 ^ref-50749
We’re told that our past influences our present. What — location: 688 ^ref-35037
You can change the meaning you give to what happens. For — location: 691 ^ref-25007
If you often talk negatively to yourself, you probably will only do more of that. — location: 696 ^ref-22013
YOU have the power to change your attitude at any given moment. — location: 699 ^ref-42070
“Think that nothing deserves admiration except the mind, which being itself great counts nothing else as great.” — location: 705 ^ref-36890
The Stoics were indifferent to possessions and externals because they realized anything that can be given, can be removed. So — location: 714 ^ref-62546
Your self-worth depends on the things that can’t be removed from you. Even the — location: 715 ^ref-24037
“Let the man who enters our house admire us rather than our furnishings.” — location: 718 ^ref-56181
brag — location: 720 ^ref-2973
thrift — location: 721 ^ref-3219
jobs we hate so we can buy things we don’t actually need. — location: 725 ^ref-12836
pulled out a joint. — location: 734 ^ref-14327
Be the same person whether you are by yourself or with others.” — location: 740 ^ref-35836
I don’t have the urge to be liked by strangers or acquaintances. If I — location: 745 ^ref-33791
Who do you want to be? What type of person would make you proud of yourself? Be that person, always. — location: 751 ^ref-17124
As Marcus said, the responsibility is all yours. No one can stop you from being a certain way. — location: 752 ^ref-46119
we become the product of what others want. — location: 764 ^ref-40830
plunge. — location: 769 ^ref-53691
It’s difficult to find a balance between being open to people’s advice and being indecisive. — location: 781 ^ref-836
When you want to please everyone in your life, you end up harming your own sense of self-worth. It’s a form of suffering. — location: 783 ^ref-55312
“When you are traveling by ship, you can go to the shore, enjoy the scenery, collect shells, or pick flowers. But when you are called back to the ship, you need to drop everything and hurry back, otherwise the ship may leave without you.” — location: 796 ^ref-52872
We must be able to give up everything when it’s called back. We — location: 803 ^ref-18576
We feel like we have a right to have those relationships or objects. — location: 804 ^ref-11740
in reality, we own nothing, and nothing is owed to us. We’re guests — location: 805 ^ref-40160
I look at everything in life as borrowed from someone I personally know. — location: 806 ^ref-27918
As our friend Epictetus said, be ready when the ship departs. As — location: 816 ^ref-36605
Think creatively and never stop trying to make the best of — location: 818 ^ref-48294
frowned when — location: 822 ^ref-54287
“practice acceptance without disdain.” When you are satisfied with what you — location: 831 ^ref-18399
mold life. We — location: 835 ^ref-52257
But often, the reverse is true. We get what we don’t want, and we can’t avoid undesirable outcomes. — location: 835 ^ref-44884
treat things you don’t want as a gift. — location: 843 ^ref-51824
“I am of the nature to have ill health. I cannot escape having ill health.” — location: 868 ^ref-7905
setbacks — location: 871 ^ref-595
Life is better when the present moment is your playground. — location: 874 ^ref-49881
“You act like mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire… [Do not] lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn.” — location: 877 ^ref-21707
He argued that life is not about how long you live, it’s about how you use the time that you have. As you know, these Stoic Letters are — location: 886 ^ref-61178
a man who has lived a long time has not lived enough.” — location: 889 ^ref-19651
if you’re too focused on the future, you’ll become a person who never has lived enough. That’s what — location: 894 ^ref-41157
When you always feel like your life is not complete, and something in the future will make you whole, you’re never content. — location: 896 ^ref-23870
Dedicate your life to the pursuit of wisdom. You — location: 922 ^ref-55149
It’s about having meaning in your life. — location: 923 ^ref-45062
Immerse yourself in the things that make you curious. — location: 932 ^ref-41547
Nothing in life improves on its own without any form of nurturing. What — location: 954 ^ref-33782
They always preached doing your best, and nothing less. Epictetus — location: 959 ^ref-54244
look at your next step, not at the finish line — — location: 963 ^ref-7708
peel. Similarly, — location: 964 ^ref-12607
our efforts are subject to circumstances; you weren’t aiming to do the impossible.” — location: 965 ^ref-51182
We aim to have it all. And if we don’t get it all, we get down. That’s not a good way to live. — location: 971 ^ref-62828
When you go through life without expecting much from yourself, you can simply do your best, which is enough. — location: 973 ^ref-58206
“You cannot really lose anything because you don’t own anything in the first place. Not — location: 993 ^ref-7170
So never say, ‘I have lost something.’ You just returned it.” — location: 994 ^ref-30252
mourn. — location: 1001 ^ref-62817
We should enjoy the company of our loved ones and — location: 1002 ^ref-15399
Epictetus said we should think of all the things in life as a hotel stay. You — location: 1004 ^ref-64747
So never forget to enjoy your stay. — location: 1005 ^ref-45340
Where are you in life? And what led you to this point? Most of us don’t have a good answer. — location: 1009 ^ref-9095
“How did you get into this work?” is, “I don’t know. I guess it just happened naturally.” — location: 1014 ^ref-22850
So many of us are in that weird space. We don’t enjoy our work, but we don’t know what else we want to pursue. — location: 1027 ^ref-21226
“From reason, you will learn what to attempt and how; you will not do things by accident.” I knew — location: 1029 ^ref-45810
Your life shouldn’t be an accident. While most things in life are unexpected, we must continually ask ourselves, “How did I come to this point?” — location: 1037 ^ref-56461
“Only a short time left,” in — location: 1044 ^ref-60573
We’re waiting until we have the perfect job, house, relationship, degree, and so forth. — location: 1060 ^ref-52779
By not being in a nonstop rush. — location: 1062 ^ref-40757
Avoid living your life like that. — location: 1065 ^ref-11067
Don’t hurry everything you do today so you can just get it over with. What kind of life is that? — location: 1066 ^ref-26656
Enjoy the moment! Because no matter how much time you have left, it’s actually enough. — location: 1067 ^ref-63459
Musonius Rufus, — location: 1075 ^ref-27914
hardship, we need to train ourselves constantly. — location: 1079 ^ref-9263
we need to train ourselves constantly. — location: 1080 ^ref-65164
and we need to make ourselves resilient so we can deal with it better. Here’s — location: 1080 ^ref-30696
“We will train both soul and body when we accustom ourselves to cold, heat, thirst, hunger, scarcity of food, hardness of bed, abstaining from pleasures, and enduring pains.” — location: 1081 ^ref-25520
“Whatever you do, come back quickly from the body to the mind; exercise — location: 1091 ^ref-56279
Only when you exert moderate effort can you maintain your strength, and potentially grow stronger. — location: 1093 ^ref-64584
Keep reading about the philosophy. Keep reminding yourself of the principles. That’s the only way to maintain it. And — location: 1095 ^ref-64069
“I’m going to get strong, and then I’m going to stay strong. I don’t need to be stronger.” — location: 1098 ^ref-57744
That’s something you can avoid by aiming to maintain whatever you have. Like the Stoics, focus on a moderate effort. There’s nothing wrong with that. — location: 1101 ^ref-36346
compounds. — location: 1103 ^ref-12042
accustomed to — location: 1104 ^ref-50035
We’ve been using them not because we needed them but because we had them.” — location: 1111 ^ref-53756
In life, it’s not about what we have, it’s about what we do with the things we do have. — location: 1122 ^ref-55023
it’s not about what we have, it’s about what we do with the things we do have. — location: 1122 ^ref-19978
“I’ll work a few extra years or tighten my belt. I’ll do whatever,” — location: 1129 ^ref-6581
self-confidence — location: 1132 ^ref-6122
Resourcefulness. — location: 1133 ^ref-4508
The ability to find creative and realistic ways to overcome difficulties. Start — location: 1133 ^ref-1048
resourcefulness — location: 1134 ^ref-29806
If you ignore your good habits, you’ll pay for them. Every — location: 1149 ^ref-54321
opportunity to rethink other important things in my — location: 1150 ^ref-39922
You can do a check-in with yourself regularly. Even if you do this once a year, you make sure you’re on the right path. — location: 1152 ^ref-3411
we keep learning as we keep living: “As — location: 1153 ^ref-35053
“As long as you live, keep learning how to live to err is human, but to persist (in the mistake) is diabolical. ”Learning how to live is a deeply personal matter. We have to learn what works for us. And we can only do that by living a conscious life. Isn’t that how philosophy started, with Socrates when he said, “The unexamined life is not worth living”? As long as you live, keep examining yourself. When you make a mistake, don’t get bogged down. Learn from it somehow. — location: 1154 ^ref-37573
Never forget that we’re stronger than we think. We — location: 1178 ^ref-48256
The REAL reward you acquire is not the money or status, it’s the energy, pride, and sense of accomplishment you get from performing the action. — location: 1234 ^ref-6705
Seneca recommended doing something every day that improves you, and giving it all your attention: — location: 1238 ^ref-4473
You’re acquiring skills and strength that will strengthen so you take on the challenges of life. That’s — location: 1244 ^ref-13659
When we experience setbacks or when things do go the way we want, we have a tendency to find someone to blame. — location: 1260 ^ref-22139
It’s time to move on because life is too short to beat yourself up! — location: 1270 ^ref-64456
Your physical and mental health are always more important. So make sure you always do the thing that’s in the best interest of those two things. — location: 1275 ^ref-20787
recognizing things that are truly good and distinguishing them from things that are not.” — location: 1316 ^ref-21555
The beauty of Stoicism is that pleasure, rest, and comfort feel so much better when you do have them. — location: 1320 ^ref-15418
Happiness is not only being able to live well with yourself. That’s the foundation. But we’re — location: 1323 ^ref-6080
You pay a price to play a game. — location: 1337 ^ref-13767
Not complaining about the price we pay is the key to happiness. — location: 1345 ^ref-36656
begrudgingly — location: 1346 ^ref-12296
They promoted staying true to your values. If — location: 1359 ^ref-21846
It’s just not worth it. Your values are priceless. — location: 1362 ^ref-8839
Hurricane Carter — location: 1372 ^ref-3176
To obtain freedom, the biggest prize in life, we should realize that we always have the power to decide how to live. We — location: 1379 ^ref-40002
we can certainly change how we look at them. — location: 1380 ^ref-3294
Focus on what you control and be free. This — location: 1384 ^ref-37091
When you have nothing, everything else in life is a bonus. — location: 1386 ^ref-2594
you enjoy the time you have on this planet, floating in the middle of space, surrounded by nothing. It’s fascinating when you think about it. — location: 1417 ^ref-21963
Simply focus on what you control and think about the actions you need to take every single day of your life. The — location: 1445 ^ref-1910
When you only focus on the process, you know you’re doing it right. It’s — location: 1447 ^ref-27348
Set a goal, turn your back on it, and start working. — location: 1448 ^ref-21101